well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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