is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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