The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
