So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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