I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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