I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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