i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
