ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
