porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I could make wine with my vomit
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
