he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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