i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
