I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
a search helicopter?!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
