he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
