Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
