if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
