We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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