It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
