I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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