found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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