My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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