Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
