He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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