haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
