He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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