last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
