Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
