something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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