So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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