dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
false alarm, still single
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