Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
