I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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