doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
