too bad you live with your parents still
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
