I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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