there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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