Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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