But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
