he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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