I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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