I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
