There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
