Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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