Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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