Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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