I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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