i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
