Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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