First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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