I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
