I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Randomize
