so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
