Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
