SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
